


Hurt

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 3 [6]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Connor deserves better, Depressing, M/M, mother/son like bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 20:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15227568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: This is a very dumb idea, but I hope you enjoy it!Nothing like having a breakdown at your law professors house after a breakup.





	Hurt

Annalise stands around her house with Connor, brainstorming ideas of how to win a case they know they’ll lose. They’ve gone through hundreds of ideas and none of them are good enough. “How can we frame the people who are charging our client?” Annalise asks, reading the information out loud for the millionth time that day.

“Wow, we _really_ are bad people to be framing an innocent person,” Connor adds, beginning to pace a little bit. The law professor rolls her eyes at yet another one of Connor’s snide comments, but she doesn’t blame him. She knows he’s so scared out of his mind that simply can’t comprehend how to deal with it, so he humour to make himself feel better.

Then suddenly, a brilliant idea comes to Annalise’s mind. “We trash this house, say they were looking for incriminating evidence because they knew we we’re going to win, and that they damaged a lot of items as they were panicking.”

“It’s smart and you did mention about the ‘crucial information’ you have on file. Are you okay with all of your possessions getting broken though?” Connor questions, putting his hands inside his pockets.

“If we win, it will be worth it.”

After a few minutes of planning how to strategically do this job, they get into place. “So... it might help if we think about life’s frustrations and take it out on the objects we’re smashing,” Annalise begins, hoping the younger man is prepared for actually facing his pain head on, “you and Oliver? What’s that about?”

“I don’t know, he says it’s because of me not freaking out about Stanford but I’m not stupid and I know it’s about me keeping secrets. If I knew that law school would ruin my life even more, I wouldn’t have even come here. It’s so much worse because I have to see him every single day and act like he isn’t messing with my head when I do. It really makes me want to-“ his eyes glance over to the first china ornament that is to be smashed. His hand grips tightly onto it and watches as the pieces shatter on the ground. Impulsively, he repeatedly continues to break everything around him until tears come cascading down his face. The loud sobs break that wall he built over ten years ago, but it’s broken down now and so is Connor.

Annalise watches him crumble, before her very eyes. She is so uncertain about how to deal with him because she knows she can’t help him. So, she does the only thing she can thing of: comfort him. Her hug surprises Connor, however, he doesn’t care. The law student needs it so much, his heart is so heavy that he can’t take anymore pain by himself. Who knew that Annalise would be the one to carry him? “You’re okay,” her soothing tone calms Connor into melting into her arms. The younger man finds himself comfortable, like he’s simply just hugging his mom and that’s all. No feelings of hate and anger, which Connor usually feels against her. Just comfort, and that terrifies him.

The law professor pulls back from the hug, after a while. She goes to grab his hands, to give some final comfort, but is stopped when she sees the blood. Connor accidentally cut his hands, as he lost his mind for a moment. “Let me clean your hands up,” she leads the law student into the nearest bathroom and tends to his cuts, “you should be more careful. Luckily, the wounds aren’t _too_ deep but you might not be so lucky next time.”

“There won’t be a next time. It was a one time thing,” his hoarse voice whispers.

“No it wasn’t. You _know_ that it’ll only get worse from here. If you’re not careful, you could end up doing this in front of him and he’ll blame himself. And you know more than anyone what it’s like to blame yourself for something that isn’t even your fault,” Connor’s swollen eyes seem to sympathise with what she says. He blames himself for too many things and it hurts so fucking much, that’s the last thing he wants for Oliver; to feel hurt- to feel like he’s drowning and there’s no escape.

“Okay, I’ll be careful but I’m always on edge. I feel as if one wrong move and everything collapses with me. There is a lot of pressure: I have to somehow keep my grades up, even though I’m so lost and I have no willpower to keep the bad things we’ve done off my mind; I have to pretend that Oliver being in the same room as me day after day doesn’t kill me- that I’m okay. But I can’t keep pretending forever because one day I’m going to lose my mind and that _will_ be the end of me... and I’m scared that’s going to happen, yet that’s all I want,” Annalise knows what he’s talking about and is frightened that she may not be able to convince him otherwise why he shouldn’t do anything. So, she’ll do everything she can to prevent that.

Eventually, Annalise sends Bonnie a text about the plan and Connor’s slight breakdown so that she can alert her students on what the court will see but not mention what actually happened. “I have new information for our case. It’s come to my attention that a DA or someone trashed Annalise’s house to find incriminating information. Connor is helping her clean up the mess, as they both just came back from working on the case. Any questions?” Bonnie informs everyone and mentally prepares for anymore lying she has to do.

“How long will they be?” Michaela raises her eyebrow, suspicious that they trashed the house themselves.

“Maybe twenty more minutes and they’ll both be back,” Bonnie reassures everyone with a faint smile. It may be for show, but she has to pull off the lie somehow.

Thirty minutes later, Connor and Annalise finally arrive through the clinic’s door. The law student heads straight over to the K5, to let them in on everything that happened. Well, not _everything_. “I just spent my time destroying Annalise’s  
house for her,” he starts off whispering, as he sits down.

“Why didn’t we get invited? I’d kill to destroy something of hers,” Michaela snidely puts.

“It was a more in the moment thing you could say,” Connor smirks, trying to get the image of his breakdown out of his head while still maintaining his ‘I’m okay’ facade.

“Won’t ask, but Oliver said he has some information for you,” she acknowledges, setting Connor over in Oliver’s direction almost immediately. As he left, Annalise came over to their table.

“I’m sure Connor already told the truth to you all. I’ve only come over to talk to you so you all can watch out for him,” her words throw off everyone, creating a slight uneasy feeling, “he mainly took over with the breaking because he was breaking _himself_ and starting overcompensating with objects. Don’t tell him I told you, he wants to pretend that everything’s okay and nothing is cracking underneath the surface. That’s your new job: guarding Connor’s mental well-being with your life. If he gets stressed, take him outside to calm him down or make him feel cared for. Good luck,” she smiles the whole through and then walks away, before the others can get a word in. She must really _care_ for Connor.

“I heard you have some information for me,” the younger man smiles over at his ex boyfriend.

“That’s correct, here you go,” Oliver says, handing it over, but grabs Connor hand suddenly when he notices the scars, “what happened to you hand?” His voice grows with concern, as he gently traces over them cuts.

“I accidentally dropped some of the china and glass, and it somehow ended up in my hands,” he holds up both of them, showing the damage that he did to himself, “I’m just tired and wasn’t paying enough attention.”

“You should sleep more, how are you sleeping?” Oliver suspiciously asks.

“Fine.”

“So barely at all then.”

“Yeah,” Connor softly chuckles a little. Sometimes he forgets that Oliver picks up on all the little things he does. The law student assumes he doesn’t know anything about him because of how tightly he keeps everything inside, but he’s wrong. Oliver knows as much as he needs to know about him.

“If you ever need a place that seems more comfortable, you always are welcome at mine,” a subtle smile escapes from Connor’s lips, as if he’s happy about what Oliver said. In reality, it just deepens the the knife further into his heart. He’s bleeding out, _dying_ , but it’s invisible to the person he needs to notice it the most.

_Oliver_.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think.


End file.
